Nowhere but here, Part 2: Köln

I failed, but I think it was rigged. They kept telling me chesterfields were supposed to be called sofas, and that a woollen winter hat is a cap, not a toque.

Note the reflection on the right. It's art. Think about it.

Some gigantic kid is verrrry pissed off right now.

The beer museum. I don't know how much I would trust it for authoritative knowledge, as it had a bar on the main level and the museum upstairs.

I loved the juxtaposition of German football outfits being sold at the store called New Yorker. I also love the word juxtaposition.

"My friend Harry and I are saving up to open a pet store." Too bad it's only men's clothes.

This was a nice restaurant, but they decorate it with the money they take by ripping off tourists. Do not eat in the Altstadt in Cologne.

I was soooooooo tempted. The thing is, the joke is on the tourists. The locals stand around, point, laugh, and throw rotten vegetables at you as you're paraded by in this thing and not allowed to escape.

Somehow I don't recall her speaking German on desperate housewives.......

I pretty much almost died when I saw this at the Schockolade Museum in Köln. That is, in fact, a flowing fountain of liquid Lindt chocolate. I hope you're drooling as well, because I sure am.
Even crossing an ocean, I can't escape her.


Jack Sparrow the mime really didn't like me taking his picture without paying. I guess I'm a bit of an ass. As this picture even better demonstrates. I found it hilarious how the mimes realize what time it is, step down from their stool, and take their lunch break, conversing with each other about politics, the weather, and the projected economic forecast for their line of business.
This guy was pretty damn good. It really shows just how lucrative street performing can be.


This will also appear in my work-in-progress food and drink photo montage, but because Kölsch is specific to Köln, it deserves a mention in the "only here" category.
Motorcycle + tricycle = Motricycle?

As always, best for last (though the drinking nun would have been here if she didn't make it into the general Köln post). There's undoubtably tons of pictures of this guy floating round cyberspace now, as I saw at least 15 people stop him. It's a German, perhaps European thing, for Bachelor and Bachelorette parties to go around in a big group, selling something to people on the street, be it beer, condoms, candy, what have you, for the afternoon, and then spend that money on the actual party. They can usually be found on any sunny afternoon where lots of people hang out, and are easily visible because of their matching outfits of bunny ears, kilts, T-shirts with outrageous things printed on them, or whatever the theme may be, and by the fact that they often are really really loud and drinking from about 11 am on. The guy in question usually get further humiliated. Here we see one in progress, which I unfortunately couldn't get a good shot of due to the fact that I had to hold a spot in line. The guy walked right through the middle of the busy Köln Hauptbahnhof wearing this, and I have to say I sort of admire his courage.